I know you’ve heard it. Don’t act like you haven’t. The quote goes like this: “It takes a village to raise a child.”. Yep. I’m going to go there. My support system. It’s what every mother needs, no matter what her situation or her baby’s situation. Raising these children is hard and without a support system it’s impossible. There! I said it. You can think I’m being dramatic, but I guarantee every mother has had someone, somewhere that offered help. Maybe it was a friendly older lady in the grocery store talking to your little one and keeping them from screaming their head off, maybe it was a friend of a friend on Facebook who contacted you about acid reflux and how different remedies helped their child, it could have been your professor picking up your screaming child during class and comforting them as you took a test. Babies are a universal language. Most people understand how hard it is and sympathize. Some people are jerks who think children come out of the womb ready to be adults and parents screw them up on purpose. Some people judge from afar and say that THEIR children would never act in such a way. These are the village idiots. Don’t include them in this post.
A support system for a new mom is invaluable, and I had a perfect little on for my first pregnancy and child. A couple of friends and my parents and in laws. I was good. I didn’t need a banner announcing that I was a new mom and needed help. I had a easy first baby. Some days were tough but I was able to get through it.
That is not the case for this pregnancy. For a while I held it all in. I really hate to tell people about my problems because I feel self centered. So many people I know face serious issues and problems every day. People die every day. Women crave the feeling of a child in their belly, who was I to worry out about the ones growing in mine? So I held it in. I told my tiny circle from my first child and received the support to keep me going.
Well then word got out. I mentioned it enough times that people realized I was facing a serious situation and there was more at stake than I had let on. People I hardly talked to came up and offered support. I have a three page list of people who offered to babysit or bring meals over. Several guys offered to help Gavin with cattle or fixing fence. I thanked them all and said when we knew what we needed we would know who to contact. It didn’t stop. People continued to offer whatever support they could.
I have been in this hospital for 52 days and I think only 6 of them have been days without visitors. Visitors that have brought me little gifts and prayed with me time and time again. Every prayer hits my heart and forms a protective wall around it. I know God has heard them all. People drove two hours and wanted to visit me.
I don’t even think there is a category who isn’t covered above. Literally everyone has been and encouragement to us. People have called, texted, messaged, dropped off food, babysat Rowan, taken Gavin out for a meal, offered money and so many other supportive acts. Our Sunday School and two local churches have been praying relentlessly for these boys. This blog has reached more hearts and so many have done more than I will ever know.
I didn’t want to do it, you know. I didn’t want to tell the world that my babies were facing some serious challenges. I didn’t want to admit that I had to leave home for weeks and that my husband and son were left behind. Its a point of pride maybe? I don’t like asking for help. I want to believe I can do everything my self. I’m a mom after all. I could handle this. Well, no. I couldn’t. I see that now. I see the words of encouragement bringing me out of the dark days when I just don’t understand why I’m here. I see the love and prayers poured out on our behalf and I’m humbled.
Humbled that people care.
Humbled that people find my words encouraging.
Humbled most of all that God provided such a wonderful community to welcome these teeny babies into the world.
I wish I could write out a thank you note to every person who has reached out in a small way. I suppose thats what this post is. A MASSIVE GINORMOUS THANK YOU.
Hey, anybody who is going through a tough time. This is for you. Reach out, you won’t have to do it all by yourself. People do care and the world isn’t as nasty and bitter as it seems. It’s full of light if you open yourself to it.